So, I watched Cinderella this weekend. The 2015 version of this Disney story, directed by Kenneth Branagh, from a screenplay written by Chris Weit. Of course it starred the amazing Richard Madden as Prince Charming. Just a small background check, we watched it at VOX Gold theatres digging into a Caramel Popcorn large box, and covered under a blanket; because apparently, that is how they do it at VOX Gold.
The story is your traditional plot. Not many changes done there. But for us girls, that doesn’t matter. A Fairytale is amazing any way shape or form. We love happy ending cliché endings, as brain washed and silly as it may seem.
There are many things that caught my attention while watching the movie, and here they are:
- Richard Madden is a very generous man with a sexy accent and blue green eyes that have this marvelous ability to break into your very soul. He is amazing when he doesn’t die!
- Kate Blanchet is an amazing villain! You will love her more than you like her.
- Helena Bonham Carter makes the best godmother in history. Her quirkiness fits the role perfectly.
- The leggings that men wore at the time! Quite revealing downstairs don’t you think?! Lucky Cinderella.
- For once, Prince Charming has a character!
Anyways, you can definitely watch it, stare at Richard Madden (or Lilly James) and dream of your own love story.
But as an average Lebanese girl, what struck me the most was that the average Lebanese Man cannot be Prince Charming!
Regardless if he exists or not, regardless if happy endings are more of a dream than Santa!
Let me give you 10 reasons why He, the Lebanese Man is not Prince Charming! And you can debate this later!
- He has to report to Mommy and Daddy to check what they would like him to do. Although it’s his life, but he is supported financially by them or have this subliminal drive to please them all the time. No-balls prince charming? I think NOT!
- He doesn’t like Cinderella for what she really is and cannot fall for her while she is in rags in the forest. He wants her well-dressed up, made up, real or plastic.
- He will certainly not woo her with his amazing dancing skills. To the average Lebanese man, dancing isn’t straight! Little do they know.
- He will most certainly not make the effort of throwing a ball for a chance to see her. “Bokra eza shefta bi Uruguay bsallem, w bot7ash 3laya ana w sekran!” When you don’t make an effort, Cinderella won’t care – unless she is desperate. And aren’t we all thanks to you!
- The average Lebanese man will not search an entire kingdom to find Cinderella using one slipper. Instead, he will wait for her to call or come back, la2anno howe jagal. Logique!
- He will not wait till he kisses her on the wedding day, on the royal balcony. He will attempt all kinds of shit on the first date, then call her constipated if she doesn’t feel like exposing herself to a stranger.
- He will not know a nice thing to say. We are not asking for a Prince Charming Poetry. But a nice word can go a long way. Not the cheesy, unbelievable phony flattery please!
- He doesn’t look this good in tights J
- He doesn’t own massive lands in a kingdom and is still down to earth, sweet and rides a horse.
- He is not Richard Madden. Period.
End of discussion.